Myths About Self-Confidence

Your success will be determined by your own confidence and fortitude.

Michelle Obama

Is Self-Confidence a Myth or Belief?

People who have self-confidence believe in themselves and feel that they can achieve what they want in life or dealing with any situation that they may have to face. They have an aura of self-confidence and self-assurance, which is apparent to others. People like to spend time with them; they feel comfortable and secure in their presence. In contrast, there are many people who are reasonably talented, but who lack self-confidence. These people are victims of the several myths that surround self-confidence.

Myth 1: You Are Born With Self-Confidence

One of the foremost myths about self-confidence is that people are born with self-confidence. It is a quality that cannot be acquired. Nothing can be farther from the truth. Self-confidence, like other skills, can be built. All that you need is the right guidance and a belief in yourself.

Myth 2: Talent and Self-Confidence Are Connected

There are others who blame their low self-confidence to their lack of good looks and poor upbringing. They don’t realize that self-confidence has nothing to do with their looks. It reflects one’s confidence. The only way they can overcome this myth is by learning to believe in themselves. In fact, talent and self-confidence are not inter-related. There are scores of talented actors and actresses who do very well in their professions but whose personal lives are torn by lack of self-confidence. It may sound contradictory, but this is human reality. Talent can be an important component of self-confidence, but it is certainly not a substitute for self-confidence. So, don’t worry about lack of talent. Harness the skills that you possess.

Myth 3: Self-Confidence Comes From Praise and Recognition

Another myth is that self-confidence is directly proportional to the recognition and praise that an individual gets in his or her life; the ones who are not so lucky wallow in self-pity. Once again, there is little doubt that recognition and praise make you feel good about yourself and boost self-confidence. But you can’t simply depend on the praise lavished by others. You must work hard to earn that praise, and you can do this only if you are self-confident. The same applies to those who are not successful. They, too, can earn praise if they work hard and win people’s respect.

Such people should look at children. Children believe in themselves, and this gives them the self-confidence to try to do things they have never done before, be it learning how to cycle or how to swim. In fact, no child comes into the world knowing all the skills. But it does not take long to teach children most of the basic skills. Then, why should it be difficult for adults to learn new skills or brave new challenges?

Myth 4: Self-Confidence Helps You Take More Risks

Another myth is that only self-confident people can afford to take risks. This again is not true. In fact, self-confident people are more realistic about their capabilities. They know what they can do, and what they can’t do. More importantly, they know how to deal with failures. In contrast, people who lack self-confidence are afraid of failure. This fear prevents them from taking on new tasks. They constantly pine for the approval of others, and when they don’t get it, they end up losing their self-confidence.

How To Debunk the Myths of Self-Confidence

What is apparent is the lack of understanding. You must realize that self-confidence is a state of mind. It is not dependent upon a person’s beauty or looks. It flows from a person’s self-belief, and this belief can be built. All that a person needs to do is to debunk myths that self-confidence cannot be acquired or that self-confidence is a byproduct of exceptional knowledge, skills, and luck. Once they do so, they will find it easier to acquire the same magnetic powers that self-confident people have.

To begin debunking these myths, act. The first action step to take is to identify and name the areas of fear or low self-confidence. When we name an area of low self-confidence, we identify where the usual pitfalls will be. However, at the same time, we are dividing our understanding to include the areas we are gifted and confident in. These gifts are the fuel. Look for these in every situation. Run to them. Use them. By using your strengths, you are not focused on weaknesses. Most of us love to focus on what we cannot do, but what if you focused on what you are confident in? How much further could you go or develop? It all starts with action.

Action Steps

Your first step to increasing your self-confidence is to start today. Each day you delay is another day the past wins. However you choose to begin building your self-confidence, do so today! Be thorough and consistent with the process and be aware it may take a while. You should not become impatient or despondent if you find your self-confidence slipping. Choose to have grace with yourself. Remember, you are an important and worthy person and should treat yourself as such.

If you are willing to share a bit about your journey with self-esteem and self-confidence, comment below and let me know what you have learned. Sign up to follow the blog. There is more to come. Share some encouragement with others you know by sharing this blog with them. We are a community of humans who are working to love ourselves past our old fears, one step at a time.

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