How Self-Esteem Affects Our Confidence

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on.

Maxwell Maltz

Self-Belief is Profound

Our self-belief has a profound effect on our confidence and on the quality of our lives. If a person believes they lack basic skills to solve problems, then they may lose heart and give up. In contrast, a person who has less skills but who believes in themselves stands a much better chance of being successful. This is because self-belief brings the confidence to try.

Have you ever wondered why only a few students in a class ask questions? Is it because the others have understood all the points made during a lecture? Or is it because they lack the confidence to ask a question? Often, it is the fear of feeling foolish that stops students from asking questions. In other words, they lack self-confidence. The only way this confidence can improve is when they start believing in themselves.

Therefore, self-belief is so important. It gives an individual the confidence to aim for the moon. It overwhelms negative thoughts and drives away the fear of failure. It is the best antidote against self-flagellation, which turns several talented persons into under-achievers. It gives the students the confidence that they have nothing to lose. On the contrary, they realize that they have everything to gain by asking a question, even if it happens to be a silly question.

Abraham Lincoln is a fine example of a man who believed in himself. He lost every election until he went to the Senate and stood for the post of the President. He did not allow his failures in professional and personal life to erode his self-belief. Had he done so, the history of the US would have been different.

Self-Belief is Confidence

Self-belief gives us the confidence to accept failure for what it is, a learning experience. It teaches us the importance of positive thinking. Those who have self-esteem don't talk about failures; instead, they try to find out what they learned. They look for lessons that can be learnt from their experience. This is not a simple issue of semantics. It is the power of positive thinking, and it is available to only those who have built up their self-esteem.

Once again it is self-esteem that gives us the confidence to enter a new group and become a part of it. Those who lack self-esteem are very reluctant to approach a new group. They don't want to expose themselves to the ridicule of being seen as shy, nervous, or ignorant. They would instead prefer to avoid others.

In fact, lack of self-esteem stands out like a sore thumb at gatherings, meetings, conferences, and at social or official functions. Individuals with low self-esteem avoid introducing themselves to others. They prefer to stay in the shadows, away from the sights of others. However, their colleagues who enjoy high self-esteem dominate the discussions. They are sought after by others for information. They are also invited to other meetings and engagements -- all because their self-esteem gives them the confidence to be open in various groups. It is the same student syndrome that is reflected in an individual's working life too.

Self-Belief is Respect

Low self-esteem also lowers an individual's self-confidence. Individuals with low self-esteem could attempt to boost confidence artificially. Nothing can be more futile or dangerous. Such behavior further destroys an individual's self-esteem. The best way to break out of this situation is to build self-esteem, which is not easy, but very possible. The individual should begin by flipping the fearful, negative thinking. Inviting the help of a life coach brings accountability in one’s positive thinking.

But nothing will work until the individual develops self-respect, and the self-belief that they are as good as others. They must realize that they are not the only ones who have strong and weak points; others too suffer from the same positive and negative thoughts. The only difference is that others project their strong points whereas individuals with low self-esteem project their weak points. All one needs is to start by flipping the negative narrative and seeking positive influences. Individuals with low self-esteem will begin the journey for the elusive self-confidence.

First Steps

Your first step to increasing your self-confidence is to start today. Each day you delay is another day the past wins. However you choose to begin building your self-confidence, do so today! Be thorough and consistent with the process and be aware it may take a while. You should not become impatient or despondent if you find your self-confidence slipping. Choose to have grace with yourself. Remember, you are an important and worthy person and should treat yourself as such.

If you are willing to share a bit about your journey with self-esteem and self-confidence, comment below and let me know what you have learned. Sign up to follow the blog. There is more to come. Share some encouragement with others you know by sharing this blog with them. We are a community of humans who are working to love ourselves past our old fears, one step at a time.

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